Decentering gossip and men
As African women, there is this thing we do that gives men our entire identity. Don't get me wrong: I adore men, but I also love myself more. Giving guys the freedom to do the bare minimum sets a precedent that can lead to women exhibiting overly masculine behaviours, which can be frustrating. Society frequently gives us a script before we are even old enough to speak. From a young age, societal expectations regarding gender, beauty, achievement, and behaviour begin to mould individuals' perceptions and choices. These expectations can put internal pressure on people to perform rather than live true lives. For example, someone may pursue a career, lifestyle, or relationship that appears to be successful on paper but is hollow on the inside. Others may suppress aspects of themselves, queerness, creativity, gentleness, and anger, to fit into the mould that society considers acceptable. These expectations often create a web of 'shoulds' that suffocate one's authentic ...