Victim Blaming, GBV and Other stories

 Dear Reader,

Today I open up about something that is really hard for me to speak about, but for the purposes of this article, I feel it's important to share it. For so long, I carried the weight of silence, convinced that my story was too difficult to tell or that it wouldn't be understood. But as I reflect on the world we live in, I realise how crucial it is to break that silence. To let others know they’re not alone. So, with hesitation but also hope, I want to shed light on something that many may not fully grasp, an experience that, though often hidden in the shadows, affects far too many.

But before that, let us define a few things. GBV is an abbreviation for gender-based violence, which is harmful acts directed at an individual based on their gender. This can include physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse and is often rooted in power imbalances, discrimination, and societal norms regarding gender, according to WHO & UN. Victim blaming refers to the tendency to hold the victim of a crime or harmful act partially or entirely responsible for their victimisation. This can manifest in various ways, such as questioning the victim’s behaviour, clothing, or decisions, rather than focusing on the actions of the perpetrator. It often occurs in cases of sexual assault, abuse, or harassment and can discourage victims from coming forward or seeking help. Foster, K., and Harris, R. (2010) provide a key reference for this topic. Their findings in The Journal of Social Issues describe the negative consequences of victim blaming and how it perpetuates cycles of pain and injustice.

Now that we've established crucial vocabulary, it's important to understand that these ideas aren't just academic; they have a significant impact on real-world situations. The negative consequences of gender-based violence (GBV), sexual and physical abuse are far-reaching, hurting the physical and emotional well-being of countless people, frequently in ways that society ignores. Unfortunately, when victim blaming enters the scene, it intensifies the anguish, providing a barrier to healing and justice. And as a survivor of physical and sexual abuse and a product of GBV, I have paid for this with years of mental breakdowns, constant anxiety, years of depression, and paranoia.

Dear reader, as a society we have been conditioned to victim-blame and victim-shame: "What was she wearing? She was looking for it." "What did she do to provoke that man to hit her?" among other hideous questions. I guess my point is, dear reader, let us be empathetic and considerate of victims before you say it; think through it. There can never be any logical reason whatsoever to abuse anyone in any shape or form. To conclude, for other survivors out there, you are not alone; silence won't heal you; rather, it will cripple you. To other readers, I hope from this you have learnt something that sparks empathy, a deeper understanding, and a commitment to supporting those who are affected by gender-based violence, sexual and physical abuse, rather than judging or dismissing their experiences.