Things I Live By Now That I'm in My Late Twenties

 

I think about my younger self often. Not in a nostalgic way. More in a "girl, if only you knew" kind of way. The younger me would be completely fascinated by the life I live today. Not because I've made it or because everything turned out perfectly, but because some of the things I do now once felt impossible. There was a time when speaking up for myself felt terrifying. Making decisions without seeking everyone's approval felt selfish. When peace felt like something other people had access to. When I thought adulthood was about having answers instead of learning how to live with uncertainty. Looking back, I think she'd be proud. Not of the achievements, necessarily. Not of the milestones or the things that look good on paper. But of the person we've become. Somewhere between heartbreak, mistakes, unanswered prayers, difficult conversations, and growing pains, I picked up a few things that now guide how I move through the world. These aren't rules. They're simply truths I've collected along the way.

Not My Monkey, Not My Circus

This lesson alone has probably added years to my life. I used to think caring meant carrying. Other people's problems became my problems. Other people's chaos became my concern. Other people's choices somehow found their way onto my mental to-do list. These days, I have learned the difference between compassion and responsibility. I can care deeply without inserting myself. I can support without saving. I can love people without managing their lives. And honestly? What a relief.

If It Costs My Peace, It's Expensive.

Some things aren't worth the price. Not every opportunity. Not every friendship. Not every relationship. Not every argument. Peace has become one of the most valuable things I own, and I guard it accordingly. The older I get, the less impressed I am by things that require me to abandon myself.

Extremely Mind My Own Business

A phrase that sounds rude until you understand it. I am no longer interested in constantly monitoring how everyone else is living. Comparison steals too much joy. The internet already gives us front-row seats into other people's lives. I don't need to buy a ticket. My lane may not always be glamorous, but it is mine. And these days, that feels like enough.

Dwell in Your Autonomy

For the longest time, I didn't fully appreciate how much freedom exists in remembering that my life is mine. My choices. My mistakes. My timeline. My responsibilities. My joy. Autonomy sounds like a serious word, but at its core, it simply means ownership. Ownership of your decisions, your boundaries, your values, and the direction of your life. The older I get, the more I realize how easy it is to surrender that ownership. To let family expectations, societal timelines, relationship dynamics, cultural pressures, or other people's opinions quietly take the wheel. Before you know it, you're living a life that makes sense to everyone except you. These days, I return to my autonomy often. Not from a place of rebellion. Not because I think I know everything. But because I understand that I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my choices. There is freedom in that. And there is also responsibility. But I would rather carry the weight of my own decisions than spend my life carrying the regret of decisions made for me.

Your Only Competition is you.

This feels self explanatory.

If They Can Huh, They Can Hear.

This one sounds funny until you think about it. You know that moment when someone claims they didn't hear you, didn't understand you, didn't know, didn't realize? Sometimes that's true.

And sometimes it isn't. I've learned that if someone can hear gossip about you, they can hear your boundary. If they can hear the rumor, they can hear the expectation. If they can hear what benefits them, they can hear what inconveniences them too. The older I get, the less interested I am in repeating myself endlessly to people who understood me the first time. Boundaries are not negotiations. They are information. What people choose to do with that information is entirely up to them. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is believe people's responses the first time. Not their explanation. Their response. Because if they can "huh," they can hear.

If They Can Lie and Cheat, They May As Well Steal and Kill

Before anyone panics, no, I don't mean this literally. Or maybe they can; never underestimate people. I mean, character rarely exists in compartments. For the longest time, I believed people could be dishonest in one area of life and trustworthy in another. Now I'm not so sure. A person willing to compromise their integrity when it benefits them will usually compromise it elsewhere too. Maybe not in the exact same way. But the pattern exists. The employee who lies about small things eventually lies about bigger things. The friend who constantly bends the truth eventually becomes difficult to trust. The business partner who cuts corners somewhere is likely cutting corners elsewhere. The person who cheats isn't just communicating something about their relationships. They're communicating something about how they view honesty when honesty becomes inconvenient. I've learned to pay attention to patterns, not isolated incidents. Not because people can't change. They can. But because integrity is rarely selective. And neither is the absence of it. The older I get, the more I realize that character is one of the few things worth taking seriously from the very beginning.

Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed

This one took me years. People cannot respond to needs they don't know exist. You have to ask. Apply for the job. Pitch the idea. Request the opportunity. Communicate the expectation. Speak up. The worst answer is usually no. The opportunities I have received in life rarely came from silence.

God First, Me Second, Everything Else After

A controversial ranking for some people. But life became significantly clearer once I stopped placing relationships, achievements, validation, or other people's opinions above my relationship with God and my responsibility to myself. Everything else shifts. Faith and self-respect remain.

Romanticize This Life

Buy the flowers. Wear the outfit. Take the photos. Watch the sunset. Order dessert. Celebrate the tiny victories. Life is happening right now. Not when you get the promotion. Not when you get married. Not when you finally have enough money. Now. And none of us are guaranteed a second round.

You Will Figure It Out.

You always do. Every single thing you spent nights worrying about eventually became something you survived. Not perfectly. Not gracefully. But you survived. That realization alone has made me trust myself more.

Breathe. It's Never That Serious

Well, almost never. Most things feel larger in the moment than they actually are. The email. The awkward conversation. The mistake. The rejection. The uncertainty. A deep breath has solved more problems in my life than panic ever has.

Never Settle

Not because I think I deserve perfection. But because I know I deserve good things. Good friendships. Good opportunities. Good love. Good treatment. I spent enough years convincing myself that bare minimum effort was something to be grateful for. It isn't.

Life Is For The Living

I don't want to spend my entire life preparing to live. Saving every good thing for later. Waiting for the perfect moment. Delaying joy. Life is happening while we're busy making plans. I would like to participate.

Financial Literacy Is Freedom

Nobody tells you this enough. Money isn't everything. But financial freedom creates options.

And options create independence. The older I get, the more I understand that budgeting, saving, investing, negotiating, and planning aren't boring topics. They're life skills.

What Is Meant For You Will Find You

This lesson took the longest. Because I used to think everything worthwhile had to be chased, forced, controlled, or worried into existence. Now I know better. What's meant for you still requires effort. It still requires showing up. But it doesn't require desperation. The opportunities, people, experiences, and blessings meant for your life have a way of finding their path to you. And what misses you was never yours to begin with.

There are so much more but who can read that long?!. Not becoming wiser overnight, is the growth process
. Just collecting enough evidence to trust life a little more than you used to. And if my younger self could see me now, I think she'd be surprised by many things. But most of all, I think she'd be relieved. Because after all those years of worrying, we figured it out. Just like we always do.